He Just Wants To Show Up To The Wedding!

So you get engaged and the next thing you know he is telling you he wants nothing to do with planning the wedding. This is a tough situation to be in because even if you are a bride who knows exactly what you want you will want to have that supportive second opinion throughout the planning process. What can you do to make him excited about the wedding and want to be involved in the planning?

First: It is important to understand where your groom is coming from. Weddings have a lot to do with colour schemes, flowers, cakes and dresses… all things that guys are not particularly interested in. Consider if he was having a big football party that a lot of people were going to attend, it was going to be expensive and he wants the day to be perfect. If it was a football party you might feel a bit out of place and not interested, this is probably how your groom feels. That being said, take the time to sit down with your fiancé and ask him how he feels about the wedding. A LOT OF FIGHTS AND HURT FEELINGS CAN BE AVOIDED BY SIMPLY HAVING OPEN COMMUNICATION. There might be some underlying reasons why he does not want to be involved and it is important that you both are on the same page.

Second: Once you understand how your groom is feeling you need to try to give him tasks he would be interested in. A few types of tasks you could assign are: buy the best man and groomsmen gifts, purchase/rent his attire and his groomsmen’s attire for the wedding day, picking the band or dj, transportation, honeymoon plans, or the rehearsal dinner plans. You could also suggest that he help pick out the menu for the wedding or participate in the cake tasting. If your groom is unorganized, forgetful or just extremely busy it might help to provide him with a list of things he can do.

Third: If your groom is still reluctant to help with the wedding try to explain to him why the day is so important to you. Some grooms do not understand the excitement around the wedding. They don’t care what colour the chair sashes are or how many tiers the cake is and they don’t understand why you do. Obviously your groom loves you and wants to make you happy so it is important to COMMUNICATE with him.

Fourth: The last thing I can suggest is to make sure you are supporting your groom when he is trying to help. If your groom is giving his opinion and you are instantly saying “no” it might make him feel like he is not needed. Although you might know exactly what you want for the wedding, make sure you are taking into consideration your groom’s needs and wants because it is his day too.

If none of this helps turn to your maid of honor and bridesmaids for help and support :)

Marital Bliss Hint: They Can Pay but It's Still Our Day

You realize you are a lucky bride to have your parents paying for most of the wedding with the remainder being covered by your fiancé’s parents. Although you are extremely grateful for their generosity you are sick and tired of listening to your mother-in-law’s opinion on everything or perhaps your father telling you what items the money should be spent on. Overly opinionated family members who are financially involved in a wedding is a common, yet very delicate situation. You really can’t stand listening to any more opinions, but you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings and you still need them to help out financially with the wedding. You might be worried that you are being overly sensitive and being disrespectful. At what point is enough, enough?!

It is enough when you are starting to feel overpowered and out of control, like the decisions being made are not what you would actually like for your wedding day. It is also enough if you are feeling guilty for making the decision that you really want. All members of the family should be there to support you and your decisions (as a couple). The wedding day is a day to celebrate who the two of you are and your relationship, nothing else. If you have reached this point it is time for you to speak up. It might not be easy, but you should probably host a family meeting. This meeting should have both families present so both you and your fiancé can clearly explain what you would like for the wedding. It is important that before hosting the family meeting both you and your fiancé discuss your feelings with each other privately so you are a united front at the family meeting. If you are a bit nervous, having a written list of the topics you would like to cover at the meeting is helpful to ensure you don’t miss anything. Make sure to emphasize that you appreciate all family members’opinions; however you need everyone to respect your final decision.